


You Are (Not) Just A Personality

by bananabog



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alien gore, Crossover, Gen, Other, Swearing, Violence, and also a slut for gravity falls, because I am a whore for evangelion, robots vs aliens, there will be zero ships in this fic, this entire thing is just pure self indulgence really, with evangelion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-07
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-05-25 08:04:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6186838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananabog/pseuds/bananabog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>13-year-old Stanley Pines receives a letter requesting his assistance. It's from Filbrick Pines. The dad he's never met, nor spoken to for as long as he's been alive.</p><p>Gravity Falls x Evangelion AU/crossover. A series of 20-, 100- and 300-word drabbles.</p><p><b>This work has been DISCONTINUED and will no longer be updated.</b> Footnotes detailing the AU in the last chapter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stage 01 // Stanley

**Author's Note:**

> Things this fic will have: Gravity Falls characters as themselves, in Evangelion-based situations.
> 
> Things this fic will NOT have: Gravity Falls characters shoehorned and OOC-ed to fit into Evangelion characters' roles. EG: If you're looking for emo!depressive!Shinji!Stanley, it's not gonna be in here.
> 
> The ages of most of the characters have been reversed/modified for this AU, meaning: Stanley and Stanford are tweens, while Dipper and Mabel are their uncle and aunt respectively. Sorta like a Relativity Falls-ish swap. I tried to keep their base characters the same, but other than that, mostly everything diverges from canon.
> 
> Would be a better read with prior knowledge of Evangelion beforehand, but if not, that works too.  
> Tags will be updated as story progresses.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stanley receives a letter.

_It’s chaos._

_He observes them in his usual silence, gloved hands folded impassively under his nose._

_The screen blips blue._

 x x x

“Damn it.”

Stanley shuts off his phone again, scowling. Of _course_ there just had to be a state of emergency right in the neighborhood. Of _course_ the land lines were down. Of _course_ it had to happen _right_ when he was supposed to be meeting someone.

He pulls out the crumpled letter from his satchel again and frowns at its contents. A pig-shaped paperclip (why did those even exist?) holds a Polaroid of a cheery young woman – mid-twenties, most likely – who’s dressed in a gaudy sweater. She claims to be his aunt. Her grin shines as bright as the many (seemingly unnecessary) accessories hanging off of her ears, her wrists, and around her neck. _‘Mabel Pines,’_ it’s signed, with a heart replacing the dot of the i. _‘Gravity Falls Train Station, 2 o’clock, June 18, 2012. See you soon!”_

He snorts and tucks the letter away again. Sure. An aunt that he’s never seen, nor heard about, for all thirteen years of his life.

Or perhaps… no one had bothered to inform him.

The latter seems far more likely. After all, it’d taken all this time for his father to (finally) get in contact with him, and _‘please come,’_ were all the words that had been exchanged. It’s the most he’s ever heard from the man whom he’s (supposedly) biologically related to and Stanley’s expression sours. He really shouldn’t be surprised if there’s more about his extended family that he hasn’t heard about...

A splitting whistle pierces the air above him. He flinches. He barely has time to look around for its source before he’s thrown off his feet by a nearby explosion.

“Wha – ?!”

A second impact shudders through the area. He tumbles onto his back.

He looks straight up into the gaping, fanged jaws of a colossal monster.

 x x x

_“Target appears unharmed!”_

_The general snarls. But he’s their last resort._

_“Your way, then, Commander Filbrick.”_

_The gloved man smiles._

 x x x

It’s massive.

He’s pretty certain it’s not anything that’s ever lived on this earth.

Stanley scrambles back against the asphalt, eyes wide, stammering incoherently, unable to take his gaze off the beast. It easily towers over the highest skyscrapers in the vicinity, but even _that_ isn’t what’s affixed his attention.

Each of its sharp, serrated teeth are as large and as wickedly curved as an elephant’s tusk. Drool dribbles freely from its gaping maw, bits of it splattering thickly like wet glue around him. Two glowing pupils reside in each black eye, moving as one so they appear to form a figure eight. Its eyes roll wildly, seemingly uncoordinated.

Then… all four pupils suddenly swivel and focus _directly on him._

Stanley is petrified.

“INCOMING!”

Something screeches and spins to a halt in front of him. When Stanley looks up, he immediately recognizes the woman inside the car in front of him. Or rather, he recognizes the various accessories, because _that’s_ what he notices first.

“Well?” Mabel demands, clearly flustered, but still grinning, “Whaddaya waiting for?!”

Stanley all but throws himself into the car as Mabel revs up the engine and begins speeding away.

“Mabel Pines,” she says, brightly, as if they weren’t driving for their lives away from a million-foot monster. She slaps him on the back and extends her other hand for him to shake. “Stanley Pines, I’m sure. So glad to finally meetcha!”

_“Put your hands back on the wheel – !”_

Mabel laughs and jerks the wheel back as the car swerves madly. “Whoa, that was _crazy!_ You’ll have to excuse me, it’s been a while since I got my license un-suspended. …or maybe it’s _still_ suspended? Anyways – hi, Stan!”

Stanley’s fairly sure he’s going to die from a heart attack if the monster doesn’t kill them first.

 x x x

“What the _heck_ is that?!” he shrieks.

“Hey, watch your darn mouth,” she shoots back genially. “It’s an Angel!”

“…that thing does NOT look like an angel!”

“Trust me, if I had any say in the naming department, I’d be much more honest and liberal with my… _descriptions.”_ Mabel takes a hand off the wheel again and Stan nervously, pointedly straps his seat-belt in, while she roots around in the glove compartment. “They’re just _called_ ‘Angels’. That one back there? It’s officially the ‘Third Angel’ on the records, but I think I’ll name it Eight-Ball. You know, because its eyes kinda look like – ”

“ – I don’t _care!”_ Stan blurts. What on earth is this woman going on about?!  Is he really going to have to work with her? He doesn’t want to! “What is _that_ doing here, and why is it _attacking us?!_ ”

Mabel doesn’t get a chance to respond. A large shadow passes over their car, and they both scream as the Angel – Eight-Ball – lands directly in front of them with a spray of concrete and debris, blocking off their only escape route. The tires shriek in protest as Mabel slams on the brakes.

“Oh, _not_ good,” she mumbles. Eight-Ball straightens, and begins lumbering towards them, every step causing them to bounce in their seats. “This is not good…!”

 _“You think?!”_ Stan shrills, as the monster completely fills their vision. It raises a clawed, webbed fist above them and starts bringing it down.

Something large hurtles out of the trees surrounding them.

It slams into Eight-Ball. The Angel shrieks as they tumble viciously across the landscape, uprooting trees and rocks in their wake.

“T-there’s – There’s TWO of them!” Stan yelps.

“No, this one’s on our side!” Mabel sticks her head out of the window and waves. “THANKS, FORD!”

 x x x

He stares at the information booklet she’s fished out for him from the glove compartment, lying placidly in his lap, as Mabel speeds back towards… wherever they’re going. (‘Headquarters’, apparently.) _‘Project E’_ , the cover reads, blocky white text against a stark red background. 

 _Project ‘Evangelion’._ It was what they named the robots – the same robot that Ford had piloted to save them. Mabel had driven off as soon as they were given the opportunity to, leaving Ford and the robot he was in behind to deal with the Angel.

“Ford is one of our most capable and experienced pilots,” Mabel had told him proudly, while Stan anxiously watched as said pilot started getting beaten into a pulp in the rearview mirror. “He’ll be fine.”

“So… why do you need me?” They’ve descended into an underground tunnel. Mabel greets the security guards cheerfully as they go through the various checkpoints. “You’ve already got this… _Ford._ If he’s as great as you say he is, why ask a nobody like me to come here?”

She gapes at him in mock affront. “Stanley F. Pines, son of Filbrick S. Pines, CEO and head of NERV Headquarters. Are you making any connections, yet? Not to mention, you’re my nephew! Think of all the fun family _bonding_ we’ll get to do!”

“That’s just it.” Stan crosses his arms and chews on his bottom lip, disturbed. “I’ve _never_ heard of you. I’ve never heard of _any_ a’ this until Pops called, and even then, I didn’t recognize him until he identified himself and sent in paperwork proving so. We haven’t spoken in forever. I was as good as dead t’him until… well. _…This.”_

He thinks Mabel’s merriness falters, but it lasts only a brief instance. Stanley chalks it up to the dim lighting and his imagination.

 x x x

“Pilot vitals dropping!”

“Withdraw the pilot! Commence recovery through Route 618!”

 _That’s strange._ He coughs. _LCL is orange, not red._

x x x  

“Captain Mabel,” he growls, pen twitching between his fingers. “You’re late. _Again.”_

 _“Fashionably_ late.” Mabel flips her long hair at him and he sighs wearily, pushing his glasses back up his nose. His twin will never change, not even when the world is ending; he’s sure of this.

He gives the kid next to her a sharp once-over. His records indicated that Stanley Pines just turned thirteen this year, and his lips twitch a little. When _he_ was thirteen, he’d been nothing but an awkward, sweaty mess of gangly limbs. Stanley’s still a little baby-faced, and while he’s not exactly skinny, he’s not thick enough to be considered even slightly chubby, either.  The growth spurt seems to have hit hard, at least, because he’s nearly almost as tall as Mabel is.

The tween catches the other observing him and draws up straighter, chin tilted almost in defiance. It’s an obvious mask. The other’s been too nervous for most of his life not to recognize the signs of it even under heavy disguise.

“Stan, this is the Chief of Project E. – ”

“ – _Dipper,”_ he interjects smoothly, shooting Mabel a challenging glare (which she sticks her tongue out at). He extends a hand to Stanley, smiling. “But please, there’s no need to be so formal with us. We _are_ your aunt and uncle, after all.”

Stanley reaches out to take it, but the three of them startle as shock waves reverberate through the area.

“It’s getting closer to headquarters,” Dipper mutters. “Come, quickly. There’ll be time for formalities later.”

He beckons for them to follow him as he strides ahead, lab coat billowing out behind him with his movements.

“You’re probably going to meet _him,”_ Dipper cautions, quietly. Stanley’s face darkens with obvious discomfort, and Dipper doesn’t miss his clenched fists.

 x x x  

It’s about as awkward as he’d expected it to be, and worse.

Filbrick Pines gazes impassively down at him, from his position behind railings several floors above them.

“Stanley.”

There’s no phone static to disguise it this time. Filbrick’s voice is deep, soulless, and it echoes darkly off the walls of the cavernous room they’re in.

 _“Father,”_ Stanley returns, just as coldly.   

Mabel shoots Dipper a sideways glance. Dipper catches her gaze and shakes his head, almost imperceptibly.

“I suppose you want me to get in one of your robots,” Stan says.

“Yes,” Filbrick replies.

“Then no.”

Mabel starts forward. She’s halted again when Dipper gives her a warning look not to interfere.

Filbrick’s expression remains unreadable behind his shades.

“It’s not a request, Stanley.”

 _“You’re not the boss’a me,”_ Stanley hisses, fists balled at his sides. “You left before I even _knew_ you. Didn’t give me any way t’contact ya, didn’t even leave _jack_ for me t’remember you by, except for a photograph and a name. And now, thirteen years later, you suddenly _need me?_ Just so I can be _bait?_ Yeah, I saw what happened to your precious Ford,” he snarls back, directed at Mabel this time. She covers her mouth and shakes her head. “If I _wanted_ t’die, I’ve got better ways t’do it, and certainly not while under this jackass’s orders.”

“Stanley!” Dipper admonishes, but Stan just shrugs him off, muttering angrily as he turns to leave. “Stupid… shoulda _known_ this wasn’t gonna be some happy freakin’ reunion… so freakin’ _stupid…!”_  

“Stan, please,” Mabel tries, pleadingly. She puts her hands on his shoulders. Stanley jerks away. “We _need_ you.”

“You’ve got Ford,” Stan snaps, pulling his bag strap further up his shoulder.

“He’s right.” It’s Filbrick. All heads jerk up towards him, stunned. “Send in Ford.”

x x x 

Pain.

So much _pain._

“…yes …sir?”

“The backup pilot is useless. You’ll need to fight again.”

He wheezes.

“…yes …sir.”

 x x x  

The gurney rattles unsteadily across the tiled floor as the medics wheel Ford in. The noise is deafening in the stony silence.

Stanley’s stomach twists painfully at the sight of the pilot. His torso is wrapped almost exclusively in bandages. One frail-looking arm has been encased inside a cast. The eye that isn’t hidden behind a layer of gauze gazes blankly up at the ceiling.

“Ford.” Filbrick hasn’t moved from his position behind the rails above them. “Get up and pilot Unit-01.”

Ford’s voice is so raw, so painfully hoarse that Stanley barely catches the reply.

_“Yes, sir.”_

Stan drops his bag and rushes over when he realizes Ford is _actually_ getting up.

“Hey, _hey,_ whoa – take it easy - !”

 _“Stand back, Stanley.”_ Filbrick inclines his head ever so slightly in his son’s direction. Stanley stills, eyes wide in panic. “If you’re not going to be useful, then get out of the way.”

“You’re crazy!” Stan yells, gesticulating widely at Ford, who’s barely managed to raise himself onto his elbows. _“Look_ at him! He can hardly _move!_ And you want to – want to send him out there again, to _die?!”_

“I have no choice.” Stanley goes cold as his father meets his gaze directly. “There are no other pilots.”

“This is bull,” Stan gasps. He clutches at his hair, shaking. “This is bull…! You’re going to _kill_ him…!”

He realizes Filbrick’s intent, as something crashes through the building above them, as they scream and stumble from the shock of the impact. When Ford tumbles helplessly off the gurney and towards the floor, he makes his decision.

_“I’ll do it.”_

He curses under his breath, trying to steady the feverish pilot in his arms where he’s caught him. He doesn’t need to look up to know that Filbrick is smiling.  

 x x x

He’s starting to learn what regret feels like.

Regret feels like having the air squeezed out of him, as the plug suit compresses all atoms of oxygen out of his body.

Regret feels like blood in his eyes and ears and nose and mouth, as they flood the cockpit with LCL fluid.

Regret is the uncontrollable tremors that wreak his muscles, that leaves his throat dry and his heart beating so fast it might burst, and his stomach churning and threatening to spill its contents, as he’s brought face-to-face with Eight-Ball.  

Regret tastes like rust.

“Unit-01, commence battle!” Mabel yells.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll just leave this here. https://youtu.be/-T65ZFmfJU8
> 
> Current GF characters / Evangelion parallels: 
> 
> Pilot, Third Children - Stanley Pines / Ikari Shinji. Son of Filbrick Pines.  
> Pilot, First Children - Ford / Ayanami Rei. Relationship to characters to be revealed.  
> NERV Commander - Filbrick Pines / Ikari (Rokubungi) Gendou. Father of Stanley Pines.  
> NERV Operations Director - Mabel Pines / Katsuragi Misato. Aunt to Stanley Pines, sister-in-law to Filbrick Pines.  
> Chief of Project E. - Dipper Pines / Akagi Ritsuko. Uncle to Stanley Pines, brother-in-law to Filbrick Pines.
> 
> THIS FIC IS PURE AND SHAMELESS SELF INDULGENCE. BECAUSE.


	2. Stage 02 // Berserk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unit-01 defeats the Third Angel, Eight-Ball.
> 
> Stanley decides to stay on as a pilot. Mabel and Dipper are more than pleased to have him around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Blood and gore in this chapter. Head trauma. Bodily trauma. Possibly mental trauma as well. 
> 
> The first few chapters for this work might come a little faster than usual since I already have most of what I want written in my head, not to mention it more or less loosely follows the actual story line of Evangelion up until a certain point.

_“Unit-01 has sustained critical damage! Paralysis in the cranial area!”_

_“Pilot’s vitals unstable - synchro rate at 23% and dropping!”_

x x x 

His sense of sight and smell are assaulted upon waking up. 

The room he’s in seems to be _made_ from disinfectant, and everything is completely devoid of color, washed in shades of monotone instead. Stanley fears his eyes have been damaged from the battle until he notices that the exterior of the sole window in the room is still brightly hued. 

He raises his left arm. It’s… intact. Entire and unscathed. An IV drips steadily above him, through the tube that feeds into the back of his hand. 

Stanley shuts his eyes. He’s survived. 

He just has no idea _how._  

x x x 

_“Disengage the neural interface!” Warning sirens begin to blare. Emergency indicators start flashing. Mabel slams her hand on the console, jaw set tight. “Abort the mission. Retrieve the Eva through Route 215! The pilot’s safety is top priority!”_

_“Negative, dude!” One of the operators swivels around, his face sheer panic. “That last attack cut clean through the power cable – we’ve lost contact with the Eva!”_

 “What?!”

_She whirls around as several display screens flash red and Unit-01’s internal battery begins counting down. On the main screen, Eight-Ball’s eyes begin to glow again._

_“Stanley!” Mabel screams._ “Stanley, _get away from – ”_

x x x

 “…Hey.”

 It’s Mabel. He can see Dipper’s silhouette hovering warily behind her. 

“Hey.” He swallows, painfully. 

 _“…t’heck_ happened out there?” 

x x x 

_The blast punches a gaping hole straight through Unit-01’s head._

_Again, as Eight-Ball calmly re-charges, re-aims, re-fires._

_And again._

_And again._

_Unit-01 staggers backwards, like a puppet with its strings cut. Thick, dark liquid sprays, jet-like, from the damaged areas._

_Its mangled left arm flaps almost comically as the Eva goes down with an earth-shuddering crash. It doesn’t get back up._

“Stanley!” 

 _It can’t end like this. It wasn’t_ supposed _to end like this…!_

_“Three minutes left on the internal battery and counting,” someone shouts._

_“Captain.” Dipper’s firm voice cuts into her thoughts and she turns to face him. He locks his gaze with hers, mouth set in a grim line._ It’s not over, _his eyes say. “It’ll deplete our entire reserve, but if we fire Bakelite we might be able to deter the Angel long enough for the rescue units to manually retrieve Unit-01, and recover its pilot from the field.”_

_Bakelite. It’s a fast-setting liquid substance that solidifies within seconds of being released, almost like instant concrete. They use it sparingly, due to the costs and difficulties in obtaining it. It’s not foolproof. It isn’t ideal. But it’s all they have to work with, and the clock is ticking._

_She scrubs at her eyes and nods. She looks back towards Filbrick, who, as always, has been silently observing the entire operation._

_“Permission to proceed with – ”_

_Someone in the room yells. “C-Captain! Unit-01 – s-something’s_ happening _with Unit-01, Ma’am!”_

_Dipper and Mabel’s gazes both snap back to the main display. Their mouths fall open with disbelief, as the heavily damaged, nearly destroyed Unit-01 miraculously staggers back upright, and lands a solid left hook straight into the side of Eight-Ball’s ugly head._

_A left hook. With a left arm._

_Which is now completely whole and functional._

_It looks impossibly new._

x x x 

The twins share a _look_ and a silent conversation.

Stanley stares at them as they turn back towards him in unison.

“What?” they ask (also in unison).

Stan shudders.

“…I can’t decide if what you guys just did was… really _cool,_ or just really creepy.”

There’s a beat of silence.

Both twins snort. Then a nervous giggle escapes Mabel – and just like that, the tension in the air dissipates.

Stanley laughs along with them, but he has to stop immediately because of the shooting pains that radiate throughout his abdomen. “Ow ow _ow!_ – crap, bad idea, _really_ bad idea, h-haha…!”

They try to contain their laughter, shushing each other rapidly as their shoulders continue to shake.

“You’re… well.” Dipper rubs the back of his neck and grins down at Stan. “You’re doing a heck of a lot better than we’d expected, all things considered.”

“I _feel_ better than I expected.” Stan gingerly lies back against the pillows and gives one last laughing cough. He flexes his left arm. “My memory’s kinda fuzzy on the whole thing, but… preeeeetty dang sure I broke _this_ during the fight.”

Mabel looks like she wants to say something then, but Dipper talks over her, “Well… sort of? Unit-01’s arm broke, but not yours. The interface headset – those things we put on your head – they’re a direct feed from the Eva into your nervous system. It’s how Eva operate – and I’ll be more than happy to explain the system in full detail at a later date, if you’re interested in knowing how it works – ” (Stan simply goes, “Nope!” popping the ‘p’) “ – but basically, while you’ll _feel_ any damage that’s been done to the Eva, your own physical body will remain unharmed.”

“Sick.” Stan grins. _“Awesome.”_

 _“Horrible_ setup, if you ask me,” Mabel grumbles.

x x x

“No,” _Dipper gapes._

“Way,” _Mabel finishes, equally stunned._

_Eight-Ball goes flying to the side from the force of the punch. It tears a new pathway through the destroyed rubble in its wake, the parting of the Red Sea._

_Unit-01 bounds after it in long, easy leaps, nearly excitedly, like a kitten playing with its first live prey. It’s still leaking oily fluid from its previous head trauma._

_It makes a jumping swing at the end of its run and drives the Angel straight back into the ground it’d just clumsily clambered up from._

_There’s complete silence in the room, save for the sound feed that comes on through the speakers. The Eva begins slamming both fists into the Angel’s chest, over and over. Eight-Ball’s screams are hair-raising – the noises it makes sounds like someone’s thrown a random mix of live animals into a blender and then turned it on high speed - but they aren’t loud enough to drown out the crack and splatter of the Angel’s ribcage shattering._

_Something hard, reflective – disturbingly_ smooth _–protrudes through the wreckage that used to be the Angel’s ribs on screen. The fragments of remaining bones surround it almost regally, like a glistening, macabre pearl in a bloody oyster._

_“He found the Core,” Mabel gasps. “We didn’t even get around to telling him how to destroy it…”_

“Unbelievable,” _Dipper mutters, sounding both disturbed and awed. He pulls a hand over his mouth. Beads of sweat have begun forming on his forehead, the gristly scene playing before them reflecting off the lens of his glasses. “We sent Unit-00 for repairs because of this. But Unit-01, too…?”_

 _“So… it’s_ not _a malfunction.” Mabel grips the console. “Or it_ is… _and it runs in_ all _of them.”_

_Unit-01 tears out the Core. Both Eva and Angel scream._

x x x

_Later data extraction would reveal that Stanley had been unconscious ever since the Eva had switched to its internal battery._

x x x

They tell him they’ll understand if he doesn’t want to continue working for NERV after what’s happened. They’re very surprised when that gets them rapid head-shaking from the tween, and Stan damn near clings onto Mabel’s arm until they tell him he can begin filling the official paperwork after he gets discharged.

They stay with him for a while longer. Stan starts off rather uncomfortable, embarrassed by and unused to the amount of _attention_ that’s being directed at him, but it’s clear he enjoys the praise as they layer it on thick. They compliment him for his bravery, thank him for defeating the Angel. For saving the town. For saving _them._

He’s almost purring with contentment by the time visiting hours are over.

They make sure he knows that he can come to them, if he needs or wants to talk about things (“I’ve been traumatized!” Stan jokes, and all three force some laughter at that). Even if he wants to talk about things that aren’t related to work. They’d be more than happy to listen.

“I know we don’t exactly have history. And we haven’t had the best of first meetings, and things are probably gonna get tougher from here on out.” Mabel ruffles his hair lightly and Stan grins toothily at her. “But we’re still your aunt and uncle. And… well, we just. We’d like to get to _know you_. And we want you to know that we’ll be here for you if you need us.”  

Stan salutes. “Yes, Ma’am.”

He waits until he can no longer hear their footfalls echo in the corridor. Only then does he let his façade drop.

They’re sincere. They’re _nice._

_They actually care about him._

And therein lies the problem. Good things never lasted.

“Enjoy it while you can, Stan,” he mumbles.

x x x

They don’t speak the rest of the ride home.

“Out with it.” Dipper sighs as he pulls into their apartment complex. He turns off the engine and waits. “What’s eating you?”

She’s looking anywhere but at him.

“…why did we lie to him?”

Dipper sits up immediately. “Wait, _were_ we?”

“Duh! I’m talking about what happened to Unit-01 during the battle,” Mabel clarifies.

Dipper instantly collapses back in relief.

“Oh. _That._ Okay. Because if you were lying about the whole ‘ _being there for you as a family_ ’ thing to Stanley, I _swear_ on Mom and Dad’s graves, Mabel – ”

“You wound me, bro-bro.” Mabel sniffs, but quickly turns solemn again. “Seriously though, why…?”

“Well, technically, that _wasn’t_ a lie,” he tries, as Mabel begins tapping her fingers against her arm with a raised eyebrow. “It wasn’t! Stan was never actually _physically_ hurt. Any contact dealt to the Eva is always transmitted in real-time. But the sensational feedback is extremely realistic due to the direct neural interlink between the pilot and the – ”

“English ,” Mabel intones.

“I told him only what was necessary.” Dipper folds up his glasses and stows them away in his shirt pocket. “He doesn’t need to know that Unit-01 went Berserk while he was in it. There’s already so much information for him to try and take in. Plus, it’s only the second documented case to date. It could… still be a fluke? Maybe? Okay, no, not a fluke,” he amends at her glare. “But statistically speaking: it’s only occurred twice out of several hundreds of trial and actual runs. I need more data before I can establish a firm correlation between the pilot and their Eva going Berserk.”  

“But we’ll tell him eventually,” she presses.

Dipper nods. “Of course. He has a right to know.”

x x x

“…Awkward sibling hug?”

“Awkward sibling hug.”

“Pat!”

“Pat!”

They bid each other goodnight as they return to their respective apartments.


	3. Author's Notes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not an update. I do apologize.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My burst of inspiration for this AU (and GF in general) ran out ridiculously quickly. Plans to write Chapter 03 - which was supposed to have more focus on Stan and Ford - kept getting pushed further and further back until I realized I really wasn't touching this damned thing again. 
> 
> I still like the concept of this AU though - although unfortunately not enough to be able to commit to and dedicate writing several thousand words for it as I thought. As such, I'll be posting the concept ideas I had for it, as a sort of "resolution" to the fic.

Notes in more or less sequential order. I hadn't decided yet which Henchmaniacs I wanted to represent the Angels, so the original Angels from the Evangelion series will be listed instead. 

\- In Chapter 03, Stanley would have been introduced to his new school, where he'd meet Crampelter (who would represent Suzuhara Toji), and Fiddleford (who represented Aida Kensuke). 

\- He'd also have been invited to live with either Dipper or Mabel at their apartments. He eventually takes turns staying between them, although he chooses Mabel first, partly to rile Dipper up, and obviously, because he'd "rather room with a pretty lady".

\- Stan and Crampelter start out enemies (Crampelter picks on Ford and his extra fingers, and Stan doesn't like it even if he doesn't know Ford all that well), then kind of frenemies, after Stanley rescues them from an Angel attack during one of his missions. Crampelter eventually stops being a dick and kind of befriends Ford as well.

\- Fiddleford's dad (Tate in this universe, obviously), is the head engineer of NERV. He has a distant relationship with his son, being too busy with work most of the time, as well as embarrassment that his son's interest seems to be mostly in breaking stuff, repairing them the wrong way, and coming up with wildly creative but not very functional robot designs. 

\- Fiddleford is intensely jealous that Ford, Stan, then later Crampelter all get to pilot EVA while he can't. He eventually ends up designing one of the Evangelion for one of their missions, and it helps him and Tate bond slightly. 

\- Ford stays mostly distant from almost everyone, and puts on a show of concealing his emotions fairly well. He's been brought up by Filbrick to be nothing but a loyal dog, but once he's warmed up to someone he proves himself to be actually pretty mischievous, super nerdy, and a little shy. He's mostly found buried in a book or another and is often alone. He becomes very close to Stan, and later, to some extent, Dipper and Mabel (more Dipper than Mabel as they share a mutual love of nerd). He and Fiddleford get into very heated, but good-humored discussions and debates about the origins of the Angels and the construction of the various Eva. 

\- Crampelter constantly picked on Ford's extra fingers until Stan beat some sense into him. 

\- Ford's extra fingers are a result of him not being completely human - he is a clone of the original twin that was supposed to have been born alongside Stanley, but which died shortly after birth.

\- Stan and the original Ford suffered from Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome in the womb - Ford received too much, and Stan too little. Ford was the twin who had the higher chance of survival as the "receiver" - but Stan's umbilical cord strangled him some time shortly before their birth, and Stan survived instead. Ma passed away shortly after due to complications. Filbrick's intense hatred for his son stemmed from this incident, and he isolated Stanley at the earliest age he could. 

\- Filbrick tried to "salvage" the original Ford from his son's DNA by cloning him and modifying his DNA to make him the "best" specimen he could possibly be - the result was Ford (1), impressively intelligent, and physically identical to Stanley, save for his extra fingers. Ford (1) was destroyed for his deformity, however, when Ford (2) also presented with sixth fingers, Filbrick accepted that he would not be getting a "normal" son. Ford (2) is the Ford that is introduced in the story, and the one that Stanley develops a bond with. 

\- Ford (2) is "maintained" by Dipper. They're both aware of Ford (2)'s origins, and they're actually quite close, although Ford's fanboy view of Dipper as the Chief of Eva means he treats the latter with utmost respect. Dipper (and Mabel) have tried inviting Ford to stay with them a couple times, but it's only after he warms up to Stanley that he finally accepts the offer. 

\- Stanley does not find out, or even realize, that he and Ford are twins until after the fight with the 5th Angel (reference: Ramiel in the original anime series). Stan's remained oblivious to the fact that Ford's glasses are the only thing that physically differentiates them, and has a meltdown when Ford reveals that his last name, too, is 'Pines', and that his full name is 'Stanford'. Stan's thrilled with the news that Ford won't be just his friend, but also his brother, as he's been mostly isolated his entire life. They only start acting like friends after the 5th Angel fight, but become a lot closer after that.

\- Carla McCorkle was supposed to be the Second Child (representing Soryu Asuka Langley). Stan ends up crushing on her but immediately dislikes her after it turns out he can't handle her sass. Ford goes into too much TMI trying to reassure Stan that he has no interest in Carla, as his being a clone of the original Ford renders him sterile. 

\- Crampelter ends up piloting the Eva that falls victim to Bardiel (8th Angel in the manga). Stan winds up defeating him, but Crampelter is paralyzed from the attack and put out of commission as a pilot. The incident leaves Stan emotionally and psychologically scarred. 

\- At some point I planned to have Bill Cipher (as Kaworu), who'd then confuse and aggravate the crap out of Stan while simultaneously getting Ford's attention, as they're both not completely human (Bill's a cyclops, but he presents none of the shame and embarrassment that Ford has with his polydactylism). Stan ends up jealous of Ford so easily opening up to Bill when it'd taken weeks for he and Ford to form a friendship. Ford's and Stan's relationship start to fray. 

\- Ford ends up sacrificing himself in a fight against Armisael, in order to protect Stan, Carla, and Bill, who were also on the field but losing miserably. Stan is devastated and traumatized by the loss (Ford literally blows himself and his Eva up with a bomb to defeat the Angel, and they'd been fighting before this), but equally mindfucked when he is later taken to see Ford in the hospital, looking completely alive and well albeit colder and much haughtier than Ford (2) had been.

\- Stan and Mabel learn that Ford (2) was not the last clone created from the original Ford, and discover the massive amount of Ford clones hiding beneath NERV HQ. Dipper had been aware of this (knowing that Filbrick had continued to generate additional Ford clones for future purposes) but had been forced to keep the secret.

\- Pacifica was supposed to come in as a counterpart to Kaji (meaning, yes, past Mabel/Pacifica would have been implied) but I never really figured out how to handle it. 

\- While Ford (2) was a representation of younger!Ford from the canon series, where he was more innocent and as playful as young!Stanley, Ford (3) would have been the representation of his post!Portal 60-year-old canon self. 

\- The fic was supposed to end, predictably, with End of Eva-esque situations. Bill would have realized that the Angel under NERV HQ was not Adam (I strongly considered Time Baby as Lilith at some point) and would have been defeated by Stanley. I... didn't think so far about Third Impact, lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Those were all the concepts I had for the Evangelion!AU. Thank you for reading this even though it's incomplete!


End file.
